Keeping sexuality in its place

One of the great issues that our culture will live or die on is the issue of sexuality.  To be sure sexuality is a powerful force in nature.  But it is our willingness to let it dominate our identities and actions that is causing such a problem.  One of the chief causes of this is, of course, biological.  Most humans are born with the desire to reproduce.  Thus we have a desire for sex.  We also have an innate desire for love.  This is nothing new of course, but what we have difficulty understanding is that sex does not necessarily equal love.  Don't misunderstand, sex is emotional and involves love but love does not in itself necessitate sex.  The fact that we believe it does is to give our sexuality too much credit for its role in our lives.  Do we really want to be dominated by our sex instinct?  Do we want that to be making the decisions for our lives?
I would hope for most people the answer would be no, and in fact, I believe it is, at least on some level.  God's love for us is unconditional, whether we be sinners, saints, or a mixture of the two.  There is so much love that comes to us without involving our sexuality.  Quite often when people feel devoid of love from other sources, they will seek to fill that void by fabricating love through a sex act.  This equation of sex and love has to be resolved in our culture, because it is threatening so much of our existence.  "Free love" (meaning sex) sounds great until you deal with all of the unwanted babies, diseases, and emotional trauma involved.  As Phil Vischer says, "we worship at the altar of romantic love" in this culture and because of this we have a lot of social issues to deal with which we wouldn't if we didn't place such monumental importance on eros.
The problem here is that even romantic love takes a back seat to other forms of love.  Even the love of a longstanding marriage isn't necessarily always a romantic one.  Obviously it is often romantic, but any good couple will tell you there are times they love by choice rather than instinct.
But our culture's desire to have romance at any and all costs is destroying too much, and it is time we stood up and took notice.  Marriages are lost to romance, families are torn apart, teenagers are lost to it, and indeed every area of society is affected by it.  Even a non-religious humanist would have to admit that allowing one force, which should be a lesser one in our lives, to dominate our lives with no recourse to responsibility, commitments, or even prudence is ultimately a destructive force.  This is how we have to frame our discussions about love.  Romance and affection, while great, is not the most important thing in life. Ultimately, while it is a gift from God, it is not meant to be enjoyed however or whenever we want.  To do so throws the life out of balance.